Atmospheric Phenomena

I didn't ask for much.


I just wanted to be held,


Close


Hearts beating in sync, fingers interlocked, ear pressed to shoulder


Just for a little while.


 Words spoken without a disclaimer or conditional clause its what they call


Transparency.


When we were together I felt just comfortable enough to strip,

layer upon layer away until I was almost bare.


Vulnerable and naked even while wearing my favorite sweatpants and a t-shirt that smelled just like you.


Your palpitating energy, pulsating into mine,

 A blinding, explosive, eternal flame which refused to be snuffed out.


We were stars.


Colliding,


Falling through galaxies. Transcending time and space.


The descent was unstoppable.


Spinning, and whirling out of control


All balance lost


We crashed.


 The smooth curves of my surface transformed into jagged edges.


Daggers of self-preservation


And I shattered the planet that one day might have been called


Us.

Swimming Lessons

                                                    
                                                         
                                                                SWIMMING LESSONS


                                               
                                                         
                                                                   I found myself


     Floating in the abyss, wafting in the ripples of your love, drifting on the taste of your tongue     

    And I began to wonder

                                      What if; I drown?



    Comforted in the cocoon in the possibility I realized there is no safety net

     And trust is my only life jacket.



   I wrapped myself in a cloak of preservation, for which I had not yet been fitted.

      
And instead of saving me,
                                          It chaffed into my skin and punctured my heart.
                                   


    Guided by the melody of vocal instruction, I learned to bend and twist accordingly

                   Breast-stroke, back-stroke, butterfly.



               All the while I held my breath in anticipation

                        Of knowing that you wanted to keep me from dying

                             As much as I wanted to risk my life for you.



My limbs lengthened, grew heavy and expelled strength as if to honor my resilience.

  
             Cool water and gentle winds transformed into ocean waves, cyclones, and created

                        An emotional hurricane.



 I panicked as the sharpness in my chest and throbbing in my head revealed the undeniable truth.

                            I.  Was. Sinking.

                                                             

                                  Into you.

                                                       Through you.

                                                                           Because of  You.

                            

                            The one who taught me to snorkel through the barrier reef of courage.

                                                        You,

                         Who helped me surf the rushing, roaring, raging currents of emotion.

                                                        You,

                                  The one who should have been.

                                                          You,

                                        The one I hoped would be


                                                   My Lifeguard.